Off I Go

I look in your eyes and I know, you don’t have to tell me anything. I wish we could communicate but instead we sit here in silence. Not the good kind either…more the deafening kind. The kind that makes you want to scream, WHY AREN’T WE TALKING.

But I don’t. I let this ugly silence fall into my lap, untouched and I can almost see our last few strands of any sort of relationship slip away from my hands, like sand falling through the cracks.

I knew this was going to happen so why did I do it? Because I could and I wanted to do it. I wanted to piss her off. I wanted to show her that I wasn’t a robot and lived by her rules. I didn’t want that anymore, it wasn’t me. But now it’s the day before  I leave for college and my own mother won’t even talk to me. She tried to keep her tight grasp on me by controlling what colleges I applied to but I had lived with her rules and shit for the last 18 years of my life. She would not control this part of my future for me.

I was going across the country to have my own life. I look at her one last time before I walk through our faded sea foam blue front door and saw a tear fall down her cheek.

Would she really miss me after all?