Trying To Hide The Facts

She came from money but wouldn’t let people know it. She glanced around the library making sure no one was looking at her or judging her. She figured the best way to blend and keep on the down low was to stay in the library as often as possible. Even though she wasn’t on a scholarship because her parents could afford to pay for college, she wanted to keep her grades up even if everything in school came naturally to her.

Her designer jeans hugged her lean figure as she slid into a comfortable chair to brush up on her American History. She came from New York all the way to California hoping to stay low key in a small college in the greens hills. She knew she wanted to be a painter but her parents tried to force her to go pre med or something of higher stature. They said that she was too good to be a painter, and that they made no money. Even though her parents still supported her idea she hated showing off how well off her dad was, working on Wall Street as a VC and her mother as a distinguished lawyer. Maybe becoming a painter would keep her grounded and learn a little bit about life.

She had always had it the easy route, knowing that she could get anything she wanted in a heartbeat. She hated that type of life style though, being a spoiled brat. Everyone around where she grew up grew up in that type of lifestyle though, so she didn’t seem out of place to them. To her though, she never seemed to fit in, she seemed an outcast.

She always had friends though, because she was easy going and friendly, how could everyone not love her. It was also because everyone knew her dad and her family. She didn’t want to be known for her family though. She wanted to be known for herself, her own hard work. People out here in California didn’t even turn their heads when they heard her name. She breathed a sigh of relief that that was how it was here. Just her and her school work and art of course. She had chosen to go to a small performing arts college and not NYU for that reason. She wanted to create her own self out somewhere and this was the perfect place to do it for her.

She missed her family though, even though the small campus seemed almost like a second home to her though and it was only a few months into school. She was embarrassed for them to come out here and visit her though because they brought the sense of high upstate New York air with them. Not to say her parents are stuck up, but they have let New York affect them more than Margaret would have liked. Her family basked in the fact that they were high class, everyone but her.

She dropped the rich girl act as soon as she left New York. She was just another out of state student to everyone else in California, no one special. At least she hoped not. She sometimes she wondered if anyone ever realized that she was trying to hard to fit in as being a no one.

She did breathe a sigh of relief though when she got to California and could drop the rich girl act, because it did get tiring after a while. In New York, people expected that from her, but here all people wanted from her was to laugh with them and join them for parties every night.

She smiled to herself thinking how easy this lifestyle was compared to the one in New York, where the smiles here weren’t fake and neither were the people. Maybe she would keep the lifestyle here in California and drop the one from New York. Then her family would always haunt her about what she had left behind, she loved them dearly and thought, “maybe I could persuade them that life here in California is better off for them.

Coffee Shop

The warm smells wafted up my nose as I sat waiting for her to make an entrance. I had been sitting there for over fifteen minutes but I couldn’t leave. I was rooted to my seat. I had to see her. It had been five years since we had spoken, and then yesterday, out of the blue she called me and told me that she had gotten a new job in New York and wanted to fix things from her past.

I watched the barista whip up espressos for impatient business men who never had time to just sit and relax, always on the move. Me though, I wasn’t like that, the large and in charge type who was never close to anyone but their blackberry’s. I had conversations with people, looked them in the eyes when we talked, gave advice. Maybe that’s why she had asked to meet up with me today, for advice. I knew not to expect anything from meeting with her today. I had waited too long for her to tell me she was sorry, and I only ended up hurting myself. Maybe we could be friends after all.

The moment I looked up though as the Christmas bell on the top of Starbucks’s door rang, I knew it was impossible. Even though I was only 22, I knew I had fallen too hard for her and I couldn’t escape it. It’s not like she trapped me in this love net, I had done this to myself, which was the worst part. I tried to date other girls and none seemed to work out. They would never measure up to her.

Her walk, slow but she held herself tall, immediately had the room’s attention, but she didn’t need it. I was already gawking at her radiating from across the room. How could I not miss her after she left. One day she just picked up from out pitiful apartment and told me that she needed to go find herself. Well I’m not going to lie, I like this new her, from what I can see. She was still the same old Lisa I knew from high school, the blond hair, pulled back into a professional looking bun at the nape of her neck, and those gorgeous blue eyes, that made me think of the Caribbean blue she had made me paint our bedroom in the apartment I was still living in.  I had done that for her because that was the one place she wanted to go to, but we couldn’t afford it on our minimum wage salaries. It would take years to save up.

I still dream about her sometimes while I’m falling asleep at night, along with the taxi’s horns blasting for the idiots who just cannot get the hang of driving in the city. Her soft hair tickling my nose and how it always smelled like lavender. My skin would tingle as I wrapped my arms around her soft warm body and pulled her closer to me.

Maybe I wouldn’t have to dream about it anymore. Maybe I could have it all back today.